Japan Itinerary 2009 Gaiden: Fortune for the Lunar New Year

Definition of "Gaiden" from Wikipedia

(One of the things we did while in Fukuoka was to travel to a temple and pay respects, and also pick out a paper fortune by reaching into a stone container/cabinet[?] for the New Year as well. Fortunately, there were English fortunes to pick from. Here's what it says.)

Fortune Slip

Number 15
Very Lucky
Like boats gathering at the port.

Fortune Everything will proceed as your heart desires, but you must not be negligent. This is a good time to gather your thoughts and narrow down your plans for the future.

Wish Will be as you wish.

Expected Person Will arrive if there is no news.

Lost Article Will be difficult to find.

Travel Good.

Conflict Be passive. There will be victory.

Position Vacant Earlier the better.

Relocation Do not make haste.

Construction Good.

Business Good, will gain popularity.

Trade There will be loss.

Competition There will be good odds, but stay on guard.

Illness Have faith, there is no doubt of a complete recovery.

Marriage A female will be obstructive and chances may be ruined. Will be hard to come about, even if help is sought.

Childbirth Easy birth, with the help from the gods.

Study Examination and admissions will be successful, go forth.

Employment Your desire will be fulfilled in the near future.

Hmm, that part about the marriage and childbirth appears to be contradictory . . ..

Japan Itinerary 2009: part 1

Friday, January 23^rd 2009

11:30PM – Attempt to get some rest before going to Fukuoka, Japan (Flight: Seoul, Korea 9:30AM to Fukuoka, Japan 11:50AM). Fail.

Saturday, January 2^4th 2009

4:30AM – Get up. Attempt to get up. Try to attempt to get up.

5:03AM – Get up and head out across Seoul to get to the Airport. Intended path; take 20 min. cab ride to bus station, take shuttle bus to airport.

5:05AM – God damn it's cold.

5:12AM – Flag down a cab. Get in.

5:46AM – Get off at the bus stop. Find out that bus passed less than 5 minutes prior and have to wait ~20 minutes to catch next bus. On the sidewalk. Freeze ass off.

5:48AM – Motherfucker; is that snow?

5:59AM – Bus arrives. Can barely feel finger.

~ – Note the powdery snow is increasing in intensity. Note with half amusement/absolute horror at the other drivers driving in zero visibility; driving in between lanes, stopping/starting for no reason, going at ridiculously slow speeds, briefly think of joke about Asians and driving before having a quick prayer.

7:12AM – Arrive at Incheon Airport.

7:14AM – Leah is feeling ill from the bus driver lurching the constantly due to the terrible traffic. Fuck.

7:20AM – Leah applies for a re-entry permit. Her ticket # is . . . 198. The waiting list is . . . 104. Fuck.

7:40AM – Let Leah wait in line for her permit, go exchange Korean Won for Japanese Yen. Fuuuuuuck.

8:40AM – Wait in queue for air ticket while Leah is still waiting. She catches up, we rush, arrive at plane just in time. Awesome.

9:30AM – Plane not in air yet.

9:45AM – Plane still not in air.

~ – Pass out, wake up to note that; a.) the plane is in the air, and b.) they're serving food. Can relate to this guy.

12:30PM – Arrive in Fukuoka. Estimated weekly temperature; ~50 degrees F.

12:47PM – Get to the domestic airport/subway station; note on shuttle bus ride that all the logos/icons for industrial factories/warehouses are adorable cartoons of some sort. Awesome.

12:48PM – Motherfucker; is that snow?

12:51PM – Decide to get some food in our stomach before moving on; ordered a chili dog, get a hot dog with some kind of ketchup/salsa mix on top. Better than airplane food, not quite human food.

1:12PM – Arrive at the intended subway station/Ryokan with relative ease. Get shocked at the subway prices in Japan (Subway ticket in Seoul[capital city, gargantuan metro] for 4 stops; $0.60. Subway ticket in Fukuoka[not a capital city, relatively big metro] for 4 stops; $3.15). Brace for the worst.

1:13PM – the Ryokan is b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.; unfortunately, check-in is 3PM

1:45PM – Wander around the area; look at outside of local temple, get lost for 30 seconds, note that 7-11 in Japan is 7-and-i-incorporated (and note that it doesn't quite have the same ring, but will do anyways) find area's shopping mall and find . . . Wendy's. Delicious, delicious Wendy's.

4:15PM – Come back from mall. Crash for the rest of the day. Watch Sumo wrestling. Note to self; remind self to get one of those nifty Japanese tables.

This week in review: From a Wednesday(07/16/08) to another(07/23/08) - part 2

So, the rest of the week, nothing else interesting happens . . ..

Until Tuesday.

Did I mention that Korea is prone to monsoons during Summer? Well, it is.

This is a long one, folks - I hope you have time to sit and enjoy. At my expense.

Well, being a good grandson who hasn't really seen his Grandma in 20 years, I have a weekly habit of spending the night at her place on Monday nights. Unfortunately for the both of us;

1. There is no AC in her place
2. My sleeping schedule is absolutely fucked from working a 3~10PM shift*

So, on continuing my charade of being a good grandson, I wake up usually at 10AM** because, everyone at grandma's sleeps according to the sensible, regular kind of schedule.
*Please take note that I am currently posting this at 4:30 in the fucking AM.
**After going to sleep at 5AM - but grandma still thinks I'm being lazy. I mean, I AM lazy, but it's not the point.

Well, I wake up, take a shower, and eat breakfast, and go to my place in the subway*.
At this point, I'm standing in the hot crowded subway and I'm tired. So, upon reaching my stop, I ride my bike back to my place, and take a short nap. It's about noon, and I'm thinking I was going to take a 30 minute~1 hour nap, and I should be fine.
*Fuuuck I'm starting to hate the subway

So, I go to my place, a studio apt, throw my clothes off, and plop on the bed to promptly pass out. After a little while, I hear this din and think nothing of it, thinking that it is just construction outside*.
Well, I figure that it's time I should wake up and do some errands or whatever, when I sit up.
Now - and this part is relevant, I promise - remember the part when I said I threw my clothes off? Well, I threw them off, if you get my drift. At this junction, I've just woken up, sat up stark-ass naked and pretty much blind without my glasses off when I notice that my front door is slightly ajar and is letting in light.
*There's construction going on all the time in Seoul

Didn't think too much of it . . . and then I hear the landlady* say, "I didn't know you were home".
*An ajumma in the classical sense, as mentioned prior

Turns out that she was doing some maintenance work and the din I heard wasn't construction, but it was her knocking on my door to see if I was home. So my landlady saw me buckass nekkid.

Ah, whatever - I kinda feel bad for the lady, as she's this unmarried Christiany-Christian person, and she's normally pretty nice.

Well, so I get up, and check the time; shit, it's 2:45 - I take a peek outside to see that my trusty bike is . . . stolen. Yep, it's gone.

I throw my clothes on and go around the block, just to make sure that no one maybe moved the damn thing, but it's gone.

Damn.

So at this point, the landlord's seen me naked, and my bike's stolen. I'm not exactly upset, as I've left this bike in front of the place unlocked (like I said, I expected to be in and out) and a coworker/neighbor of mine says he saw the bike when he left for work at 2:25.

Well, I guess I was asking for it. Anyhow, some of the other teachers and students, when I mentioned this, suggest that I go and steal someone else's bike. Not, that I would, but I guess it happens frequently around here.

Like I said, I'm not happy about it, but being upset doesn't do anything either, so, blah.

Anyhow, onto today . . ..

Well, since it's a Wednesday, that means I only have a half day of work. So, I gather my coworkers, and go down to the same burger place to hang out and have some burgers. On the trip there, nothing. We get over there, take our seats, and order our grub.

And then I feel a slight tap on my shoulder.

I look over, and a green cicada has decided to join me on the back of my shirt sleeve. That fucker was huge - about as big as my thumb - and did you know that you can skewer them and eat them? Anyhow, back to the story - it's really not that a big deal - I reach for it, and flick it off my shirt.

Except that I don't look up to see where I'm flicking this off to.

Whoops.

I flick it off and I turn back to my burger, thinking nothing of it. Well, I hear a couple of girls scream bloody fucking murder and it turns out that I've hit that critter right at them.

At this point, they're still screaming their head off. I go over, and it's on the ground. As I'm pondering whether to step on it and save its pain of having to hear those two shrill screams, the owner, Y, comes and picks it up, and lets it out.

So at this time, I'm somewhat embarrassed, and I genuinely apologize to the girls.

Their reply? "Yeah". One of them was so shaken up that she had to go to the bathroom.

Later on, I find out that did they only not get up as they saw the whole event transpire before I flicked that guy, the goddamn thing didn't even hit them nor go on their table at all.

For fuck's sake.

So that was my week, folks. I don't quite know if all that was that terrible, but was odd nevertheless. Hope that entertained you at least a wee bit. I'll get to my regularly scheduled blogging as something new comes up!

This week in review: From a Wednesday(07/16/08) to another(07/23/08) - part 1

What the hell.

Well, interesting(?) things have been happening to me recently. Not in the mind-blowing sense, mind you, but rather in the sense of slightly odd series of events. So let's begin.

Last Wednesday: After a half-day at work, I, as well as a few other coworkers decide to go check out this burger joint that Leah and I found*. So we are in the subway** and it being Seoul, it's pretty busy - on the way there, we're chillin', making small talk with coworkers as we're standing as there are no free seats, holding onto the handles, and just waiting for our stop to come.
Well, on one stop, this older ajumma that was sitting down right in front of me, decides to stand up. Nothing out of the ordinary, right? Well, at that precise instant I was talking with my coworker/boss, Nate, and had my hand turned away.
*Actually, this place was opened by the owner of a bar that Leah and I frequented. It's also in the foreigner district, so all the clientele are essentially expats.
**If you've read the other posts so far, I'm hoping that you know at this point that we use mass transit extensively

Anyhow, you would typically think, knowing the Dan you guys knew in the States, or, possibly in Korea, "What did you do this time, you ijit?"

So, what did I do?

Nothing. Not a god damned thing.

I was just standing there, talking to Nate like I said and standing still, holding onto the subway handle when the lady decides to headbutt my elbow (on the arm that was holding the handle, by the way). Yeah. She wanted to find out who'd win; her head or my elbow. Unfortunately for her, my elbow won.
Smartassedness aside, I quickly turned over to see her and muttered an apology to the lady.

(Was I supposed to apologize at this instance? Anyhow . . ..)

Turning back to Nate, who saw the whole thing, we kinda had an awkward chuckle as we both weren't sure what kind of response to take.

Well, I guess that was a bad move, as her daughter, on seeing me talking to Nate(a white dude - stand up guy, by the way) in fluent English, maybe thought I was laughing at the lady.

So naturally, she decides to go off on me, saying things like, "You shouldn't have been in her way/you need to look out for them/blahblahblah" in Korean, while her mom is pulling her out of the subway.

Now at this point I'm stupefied more than anything at this point, and I'm just staring at her(and so is Nate), not knowing exactly what to say to all this.

Then, it gets kinda weird. The girl, seeing that her screaming in Korean is not getting the reaction she wants and seeing me hanging out with a whiteboy, proceeds to do her best to scold me in her best "I speak English" impression while the mom keeps pulling her out of the subway, which just stupefies me even more.

Then the doors close on her as she is screaming.

At this point, for some kind of karmic balance and entertainment value, I would love to say that "Oh, the doors closed on her noggin, her head got chopped off and everyone lived happily ever after" and all that, but real life being what it is, she was out of the subway, the door closed, and we went on our merry (and now somewhat awkward) way.

The rest of the week gets weirder. Just wait.

Yes, I've assimilated!

I've given up. Quit. Compromised.

Quit what, you ask? I've quit not being assimilated into the now-culture; I've given up my proud status as an independent, rational human being (in reality a thinly-veiled guise for my neo-tech phobia/ineptness for such things - or just good ol' American lazyness).

Anyhow, yeah; so now I'm a proud(?) member of myspa-, er, I mean, cyworl-, oh, facebook this time. Right. Well, every foreigner in Korea has one, so hey, when in Korea . . . (inside joke; as my lovely wife tells me, "fuck a Korean" . . ..)

So why the blog, all of a sudden? Well, I've been meaning to, really. It's just that . . . "things" have been getting in my way; er, right (i.e. I'm a lazy fuck, and I wholly embrace the lifestyle - you, dear reader, should subscribe to this lifestyle; don't want to try? Eh, I'm too lazy to sell it to you).

So where to begin? I mean, I'm going to send this to everyone in the States so they can read this, right?

Well, it IS late at night (oh no, it begins) so I'll just bulletpoint some things I should cover;

• My trip to North Korea
• Guards, the flags and their love of saucer hats
• Their hatred of all things American; yet they only take US dollars?
• The weird box thing we found in the hotel room
• My trip going Whitewater Rafting
• My job
• My continuing obsession/"passion" with;
• Motorcycles
• Martial Arts - Muay Thai in particular
• Other martial arts schools in Korea I've seen/found
  
• Male Pattern Baldness - oh noes!
• Marriage to my wife, the person I married
  

Of which I will cover with glee - later(maybe). Maybe I'll take a poll of which one I should start with.

Oh, forgot to mention a few things;

To bulletpoint, I mean - coincidentally, it's all oh-so very perv related in one way or another;

• Whore alley/town/district/whatever
• Penis Fish
• Penis Statues we found on the way back from North Korea (In South Korea)
• Adult Novelty shops . . . er, vans on highways